i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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