i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
