Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
