i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
