Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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