just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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