Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
