I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
