So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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