I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
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My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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