she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
