if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
