Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
