I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
