Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
