I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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