i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
