Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
