i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
