i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
