worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
