Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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