Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
