i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
