The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
