wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
