my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
