It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
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Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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