i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
