So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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