I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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