Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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