why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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