Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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