some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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