Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
