i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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