Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize