I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
