Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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