I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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