If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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