I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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