Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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