everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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