i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
