I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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