She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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