but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
