Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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