It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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