Your dad touched me again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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