i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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