and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
