ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
