Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
