this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
