textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize