Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
