we're blogging at a bar
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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