Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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